It’s almost spring cleaning season, fellow New Jerseyans, and it’s time we broached a familiar and heretofore unresolved issue in this crazy state: there are just waaaay too many towns here.New Jersey comprises 565 municipalities, many of which you drive through in less than a minute having never realized that these blips all feature their own mayor, council members and public works people (or person, in some cases).It stands to reason that fewer public employees on the books would lower taxes in our woefully overtaxed state, so with a blind eye turned to small-town pride — and our tongues in our cheeks, please no threats — here are 25 completely unnecessary New Jersey towns. Merge 'em or wipe 'em off the map completely. Really, who would know the difference?
Jersey Journal file photo
West New York (Hudson County)
Incorporated: 1898Population: 52,407Why it needs to go: To the 50,000 souls who have to regularly explain that they live in a town called West New York, New Jersey, I personally apologize on behalf of all rational human beings. Sure, geographically this makes sense: The one-square-mile Hudson County town is, in fact, due west of New York City. But must you call it that and confuse the hell out of everyone? Nay, says I!
File photo
Teterboro (Bergen County)
Incorporated: 1917Population: 86Why it needs to go: Ask anyone in ultra-packed Bergen which of its 70 municipalities is most absurd and you’ll hear about Teterboro, which is little more than an airport and a smattering of businesses. And only 86 people actually live there — if your town’s population is smaller than the guest list at any good Bergen County wedding, you need to merge. Move over, Moonachie.
Hi-Nella (Camden County)
Incorporated: 1929Population: 895Why it needs to go: Any town with the audacity to include a hyphen in its name is already on thin ice — I'm looking at you Avon-By-The-Sea — but this faceless quarter-square-mile of land between Somerdale and Stratford is particularly unnecessary. We reported in 2010 that this “town” functions with a double-wide trailer for a town hall and one poor man who acts as the Department of Public Works. Why, Jersey, why?
Ed Murray | NJ Advance Media
East Orange, West Orange and South Orange (Essex County)
Incorporated: 1863 (East Orange); 1863 (West Orange); 1869 (South Orange)Population: 64,621 (East Orange); 47,037 (West Orange); 16,282 (South Orange)Why it needs to go: The next time I see a sign denoting “The Oranges” exit on the Parkway, it better be for a fruit grove or a farmer’s market. At best, this unnavigable cluster sounds like sectors of a Florida retirement community. Combine them all into Orange, then you can have low sales tax, Seton Hall University and the Turtle Back Zoo all in one place. Everybody wins!